tiang gol /goalpost

things i want to get done/do in the near future/make a habit out of:

01. learn to play Yann Tiersen's "l'absente": listen on youtube!

02. take more photos, read more books, listen to more music, try to smile more and be (more?) polite to people (especially strangers), catch up with friends

03. do well on my driving test and pass? whooo. oh, and exercise!

04. become a better family member and overall better person; help prepare yah for her PMR later this year, clean the house on a daily basis (and not sporadically, when the mood comes) because it makes mummy happy, tell abah that i love him more often, no more lessen amount of time spent doing nothing or nothing beneficial, khatam once again before Syawal

i almost feel like posting a picture of me smiling, just to illustrate just exactly how i'm feeling. these past few weeks, have been wonderful. as hollywood as it sounds, it feels like i'm rediscovering myself, stripped of the expectations and pressure and just the excessive load of whateverness. alas, i'm lazy, about the picture, i mean, and i suppose it's enough that i mentioned my intention and hopefully will be reflected in my actions.

i guess i've been denying it, but i think i lost a bit of myself in college. towards the end i realize how much dependent on other people i became to the point (where i consider) being clingy, how snappy i became, the many many excuses i made to others and myself, how much wrapped up i was in my own so-called problems. yes, sometimes stress does that to you, and maybe that's how i deal with it.

but now i know that it was a temporary thing, and i wasn't slowly transforming into a monster. well, hopefully. haha! i do have to thank the college in the middle of the kelapa sawit fields for giving me valuable insight on people, my own behaviour, and the higher power. so i guess it wasn't a total waste on me, MARA.