the (our) past;

my atuk :)

is the acoustic version of your favourite song still considered your favourite song?

so i guess i should start off with a big SORRY. to everyone. i know i've been a constant no-nonsense, grade-A, slap-deserving bitch of monumental proportions for the past few weeks or so. i honestly don't know what happened. sometimes you just lose yourself, you know. and it's ugly and uncomfortable, but there's really nothing you can do but to ride it out. i guess that's what a hangover is supposed to feel like. i don't know what being nasty has to do with having a hangover, but there you go.

i'm glad we're given a few days off. i was starting to get annoyed with...everything.

in light of recent ah, events, i've realized that some things about me just have to change. specifically speaking, i need to talk more. i honestly don't usually have the urge to report to anyone about what i did that day, what i ate, what i thought about that test or whatever, but i guess it's a good place to start. the small things, i mean. before moving on to the bigger things, to the orbit-changing, heart-tugging matters. because i realize now that it is necessary. talking to others. for me, because i often now feel like i'm about to explode under the weight of it all. and for others, because sometimes it is important to let people know the little things, even if it is just to return the favour. and also because i don't want to seem like a bad friend because i don't tell them stuff. i never had the intention! it's just hard. for me. to, you know, tell stuff. not good with talking and all that. but yeah. i just want everyone (you) to know that i do feel things. wonderful things, unimportant things, bad things, it's just that i don't verbalize them too often. but it doesn't mean it isn't (wasn't) real.

okay. that was a long paragraph. i doubt anyone read that, but in any case: thanks for reading. and selamat hari raya aidiladha, have fun spending time with family. (and here i am, thinking, this is the last time i.... but i should just. stop. and just do. because nothing else matters anyway. the future, it's an uncertain fickle thing.) happy studying as well! which reminds me, i have no idea where my biology notes are. it is distressing, to say the least.

it

i realize and understand that everything i say and do can and will be used against me in the court of law. (or by my peers, to coerce me into doing something i might regret)

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anyhoo. EE still not done, have not prepared for IOC, do not understand maths, written task??, lab reports galore, but still alive and kicking!