opgelet!

have you ever had one of those instances, when in the shower, you don't remember whether or not you've lathered yourself with soap? and you stand there, trying to remember if you have, and contemplating whether or not you should spend 2 minutes washing yourself because you're already late. but then you get really frustrated because you've already spent more time thinking whether or not you should wash with soap, than actually washing yourself with soap. so in the end you wash yourself really clumsily, because you wouldn't feel good otherwise. and by then you really really are late. gaah!

so i'm kind of stuck in that situation right now. i mean, not literally, obviously. but the general direction my life is taking, is kind of like standing in the middle of the shower, stuck between two choices. (i don't know why this is starting to sound really profound hah!)

hmm dee dum. semalam balik dari leicester, tidur pukul 9, bangun pukul 5, online sampai pukul 7ish, buat nota sampai 9ish, shopping till 4ish. it works pretty good, actually. the early to bed, early to rise part, i mean. not the part about general time wasting, nooo. the plan today was to sleep early, and wake up early tomorrow morning before lectures, but well, i guess it's a tad bit late for that?

thus! from now on, i vow to:

I) cover all, ALL, lecture notes before winter break. 18/12 (dublin and beyond yaww!). ini adalah supaya boleh berjalan dengan tenang (or gila-gila, depending on how you view it). lepas ni nak try tidur kat library lah, since it's open 24 hours now. bajet budak medic hardcore.

II) reply to text messages/emails promptly. nak avoid orang jadi bengang, malas nak layan drama pls

III) not shop anymore. till boxing day, that is. MUAHAHA

IV) try my hardest not to sleep during lectures.

V) actually follow the goals i've set.

besok nak pergi city and tukar jeans boleh tak. accidentally bought the longer-legged ones. bootcut, skinny, super skinny, boyfriend cut, regular; 28", 30", 32", 34"; sizes 00 to god knows what. susah la negara orang putih ni.

kantoi satu, kantoi semua.

it's a good thing i use the same password for everything.

kadang-kadang rasa menyampah dengan diri sendiri. bila lapar, bukannya nak masak (sebab terlalu malas). bila rasa sunyi, bukannya nak pergi buat kawan. bila ada assignment, bukannya nak buat. perangai tak berubah-ubah. sometimes there's just this big build up, an excitement that is supposed to paramount to a wonderful climax. fireworks, and the whole shebang. kononnya a new scenery will bring new and welcomed changes. but the truth is, everything's essentially the same, and although the familiarity is comforting, it's also a little disappointing.

why is it that every time i decide to write an entry, mesti masa tengah emotional. it gives a skewed view that i am a really emotional person. contrary, i'm not, i'm rather heartless actually. ha. ha. ha. today is the 14th of november, in a few days it will mark two months of me being in the youuu-kayyy. in a few days, it will also be eid ul adha. tipulah kalau cakap tak sedih. padahal masa kat malaysia, time kena balik kampung mesti nak merungut- kat kampung tak ada internet lah, kena beratur panjang pagi-pagi untuk mandi air sejuk lah, kena buat kerja kat dapur lah. hah, i'd trade this with the chaos of being with family any day.

OBVIOUSLY judging by how this post is kind of all over the place, it should give you an indication of my current state of mind. ie, not very well. please excuse me while i wipe the tears before they seep into my keyboard because it would not work out very well for me if my computer decides to malfunction before i finish researching my behavioural science assignment. sekian, berita.

edit- blogger is still on malaysian time. sedih tak terkata-kata.